Scrubbing-related pun, something something, Brendan Fraser

I’ve always been what you’d call an expert on the human expression, a creative genius, if you will – not that I’ve ever been one to blow my own trumpet.

I recall, vividly, in high school I had once again skipped history class – supposedly at brass band practice but having bribed a friend to cover – when Mr. Phakenaime caught me; there I was, hiding behind the portables with a group of older students, dealing bootleg copies of Rembrandt paintings. He’d really caught me off guard, causing me to stumble onto a still life of a tomato we were drying; it was so embarrassing – boy, was my face red.

That event could’ve easily deterred me from any creative pursuit, yet the Rambraccident only further strengthened my passion for artistic appreciation.

I’ve since dabbled in a range creative ventures, including promoting my own photography Facebook page (there’s no photos, I just enjoy promoting it), being a former stand-in backing vocalist for a Baha Men cover band, and creating a dermatology themed Operation spin-off. I’ve invested so much of my life in the arts, so as someone with skin in the game it brings me great disappointment to witness much of society still overlooking an indisputable modern masterpiece.

The pinnacle of humankind’s creative accomplishments doesn’t come around that often, for millennia people said it never would, but on February 24th, 2004CE, it did. Scrubs – season 3, episode 14 – ‘My Screw Up’.

Not only does this triumphant episode adhere to the evergreen separate-yet-thematically-linked-problems-tied-together-with-the-final-voiceover Scrubs formula, it also stars Academy Award Winner Brendan Fraser (he doesn’t actually have an Oscar, but it’s pleasing to read). The episode boasts an impressive 9.7 on IMDB; which, for reference, is more than double Crocodile Dundee in Los Angeles (2001). It’s really a testament to the Scrubs episode that it can be twice as good as a perfect film.

For the record, TIME Magazine Person of the Year Brendan Fraser actually appears in two other episodes from season one and while, to quote my neck tattoo, any Brendan is good Brendan, we’re undoubtedly dealing with some top-shelf Brendan in this one.

[*spoiler alert * skip ahead two paragraphs to avoid a fairly major spoiler for the episode. Remember: you can only watch it for the first time once. Although if you skip ahead, you might miss out on more low-effort wordplay – it’s likeSophie’s Choice]

What separates ‘that Brendan Fraser episode’ from the rest of the series – and any work of art ever created throughout all of history – is its meticulously crafted story leading to an emotionally jarring twist ending, playing out as an homage to The Sixth Sense.

But if its greatest strength is its homage to Bruce’s death in the The Sixth Sense, then why isn’t the film celebrated at the best art in universe? Quite simply, the Scrubs episode distinguishes itself with a subplot dedicated to Turk’s inner turmoil about whether or not he should get the mole on his face removed (note: I’ve left kindly left the mole’s fate unspoiled).

And why didn’t I give another spoiler warning for The Sixth Sense? I didn’t think this was hard to grasp, but the rule is you always give a spoiler warning – unless, of course, it’s been more than 17 years and it has already spoiled in song form by The Lonely Island.

Despite the episode’s obvious merits, surprisingly, there remains a small but vocal group of rogue art connoisseurs and disgruntled historians still praising pedestrian attempts at art, such as the Mona Lisa or Hamlet, all while completely ignoring scrubby Bren.

It was initially acknowledged only by figures such as His Holiness the Dalai Lama and all of Mensa, however, appreciation of the episode has thankfully increased dramatically over the last decade. A study published by Cornell University found 98.9% of people who still deny the legitimacy of the Brendan Fraser episode of Scrubs are also Flat-Earthers.

Constructed more than one hundred years ago, the Great Pyramid of Giza was once trumpeted as one of humanity’s most impressive creations, but in this post-episode-14 world of artistic enlightenment, opinion has shifted. A three-year study from Lonely Planet revealed that, in 2013, the Great Pyramid of Giza was overtaken by the carpark where a brief section of the episode’s opening was shot as the number one place to visit when travelling to Egypt. This was particularly surprising, both to lead researchers and travel agents, due to the twenty-hour flight across the Atlantic Ocean required. The shift has been a humbling experience for the Egyptian people, with a recent referendum officially changing the monument’s once boastful name to The Mediocre Pyramid of Giza.

In the end though, it doesn’t matter whether or not everyone appreciates something, we can simply be grateful for the emotional journey we got to take with Miss Universe 2015, Brendan Fraser.


Words by Aiden McNamara

Art by Lucie Cester

IG – @elsicreations_

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