Someone once asked me to list some of the greatest joys in life, and waking up and not thinking about them anymore is easily in my top 10 — asidefrom kissing in the rain and other main character-esque qualities. There’s no denying that breakups are one of THE MOST tumultuous journeys that a human can go through, but the process of healing and overcoming pain is monumental.
Hi, my name is Kiera, and I’m your perpetually single friend. Welcome to the world of singledom in 2021! There are plenty of options, not a lot of commitment, and the drinks aren’t exactly flowing (thank you, 10 months of lockdown).
Similar to the sea, life is unpredictable. Sometimes the water is clear enough that we’re able to feel comfort amongst its deep blue calmness. Other times, the waves become too choppy and the water too murky for us to see clearly through the storm.
For some unbeknownst reason, I was fortunate enough to stumble upon my long-term partner at the age of 16. Young, naive, and desperate for that Wattpad fanfic-like love story, it only took us a few dates to couple up, and only a month or so to say that L-word. Four years later, at the good old age of 20, my boyfriend and I are still going strong.
The first time I touched another person I was 16. His parents were out of town for the weekend — in Spain or Morocco or something of the sort — and in the one hour in between the end of the school day and when he was meant to go pick his brother up from tutoring, we dug ourselves underneath his messy floral bedspread, whispering hushed secrets and tracing love letters across one another’s spines.
You know those moments? The ones where you look back and think ‘what the actual fuck was I thinking?’ I guess you could call it a kind of post-nut clarity, or some sort of clarif-dick-ation (thanks, TikTok), where without warning, that love bubble — fitted exclusively with a rose-tinted haze and the ‘they-can-do-no-wrong’ mindset — is popped, and you realise your partner isn’t actually all that? Yeah, well same.
In my post high school naive mind, it was simple. We were young and jobless. We had the time and the freedom of going out instead of studying for exams. Our days were empty, waiting to be filled with adventure. But this new found freedom came at a cost. There was no more seeing the same faces every day. No more sitting on the oval laughing about stupid shit. No more cramming for a test together or late-night snapchatting mental breakdowns of how we were all doomed to fail.
What is intimacy? Is it holding hands? Because I can think of far more cool things than some clammy struggle in the name of romance. Google offers no help, by defining intimacy with even more ambiguity: “a close familiarity or friendship” or “a cosy and private or relaxed atmosphere”.
Mr Grey gave BDSM its own blockbuster and wikifeet.com celebrates foot fetishes. Some fetishes may have gone mainstream but there are still plenty being shunned from the norm. Sexual fetishes are usually at the bottom of our list of conversation topics. Some of us are even afraid to tell our girlfriends, boyfriends, fuckbuddies and anyone in between the kinky things that turn us on. But I am here to inform you that the fetishes we carefully keep confidential are normal. The human spectrum of sexuality is actually very broad.