Words by Samantha Pillios Art by Abbie Cooper
Whether you’re a serial offender or first-timer, dating is a whirlwind to all. Unfortunately, there’s no secret to avoiding that awful feeling in your stomach before a first date, nor is there any advice that can truly prepare you for the experience to come. The unknown variables of what goes on when dating are endless, nevertheless, here is a list of tips and tricks to ace your first or fiftieth round in the dating game.
First impressions are EVERYTHING
In the first minute you meet someone, it’s an automatic reaction to make assumptions and judgements. Everyone wants to appear cool, calm and collected, and to ensure this is you on a date, consider these few things:
When deciding what to wear out, take the safe route. Wear something comfortable that shows a bit of your personality. Your date will see straight through how you’re feeling in that tight fitting dress and six-inch stilettos or that new tight fitting shirt – as much as we all want that Pretty Woman moment.
Personal hygiene is probably the biggest indicator of how the next few minutes will play out. A simple hair groom, teeth brushing and body spray will get you passed the introductions. Hygiene is personal but let’s be honest, there is a an expected standard of ‘put-togetherness’ and anything less could have consequences.
Remember etiquette. Etiquette is one of those things that can form the tone of your conversation to come. Simple politeness and respectful mannerism upon the first meeting is crucial. It’s been scientifically proven that calling someone by their first name registers attraction and interest – so use it!
Playing hard to get
It was acceptable to play hard to get when you were locking eyes across the room and walking to the bar at the same time, but now that you’re on a date it’s time to break the ice. Holding back enough to leave some mystery is sexy, chasing on a date however, not so much. Sure, we all like ‘a challenge’, not giving too much away and leaving your date in suspense is what leads to date number two. However, the last thing you want to do is be short and stubborn – it’s not attractive and no one will leave happy.
Curiosity vs. Creepy
Be curious about them, it’s nice and flattering when you feel your date is interested in getting to know you. The more you know about their work or interests, the greater the conversation. Remember, draw the line between curiosity and being intrusive, no one likes a prier, they’ll tell you their nitty grittys in time.
Talking too much & TMI
When you’re nervous, it can be easy to fall into the trap of consistently talking to avoid the ‘awkward silence’. Breathing is key, if you feel yourself overcompensating or even worse, losing breathe, take a moment to let them make up the conversation, you may even find yourself getting a better inkling if your date is really for you. Too much information is also a big no-no, no one you first meet wants to know how much you dislike your boss or how smashed you got at your grandma’s funeral. For the first date at least, your deep and darkest secrets should stay just that.
It may seem like an obvious rule but you’d be surprised how naturally the word ‘ex’ comes up when talking about yourself. A quick mention of the ex won’t completely turn them off, but anything more and it can seem like you’re dwelling on the past. As a general rule, avoid discussion of your romantic history. If it comes up in conversation it’s okay to be slightly vague about it. Be respectful and short about the whole thing, this shows maturity and charisma and is a big turn on to the person across from you…