Hey Miss Jay, what’s your number?

What’s your number? The double entendre I fear the most.

Are they flirting with me or trying to suss out how much of a slut I am? Do they want my digits or to learn how many people I’ve slept with or hooked up with over time?

Honestly, this question has embarrassed me and many people I know consistently over time. I matured late, I admit this. I lost my virginity much later than everyone else I knew – so while the actual ‘number’ of people I’ve had sex with is low, I have had encounters with multiple males. I’ve just rejected the idea of having sex with them, because I once cherished the idea of losing it to someone I like, or even love (this went out the window when I turned 19, but that’s a story for another column).

When someone used to ask me that infamous question, “How many guys have you gotten with?”, I panicked. I would think of some elaborate lie to make me sound way more experienced than I actually was. I would say, “Uh, I honestly have no idea! Probably a few over the last couple of years,” even though in my head I knew exactly how many, all their names and the dates I had actually touched them for the first time.

However, as I’ve become more experienced, I find that I’m slipping reverse fibs into the conversations. I try and make myself look more innocent, so I’m not perceived as a slut! I do often question myself (picture why are you like this? meme), and my extremely ignorant perspective on telling the truth to someone you’re about to engage in sexual activity with.

I have to say though, after all my lies and misdirection, honesty is the best policy. If a sexual partner won’t do something with you because you’ve told them something they don’t want to hear, ditch them fast. Respect and honesty are two things in any relationship that keep you mentally stable and once those two things go out the window, to put it simply, things are fucked.


Juicy details by Miss Jay.

Art by Marina Yu

IG – @shadeylines

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