Words by Shaikock Art by Gabrielle Poh
Sometimes things really do happen almost instantly — like one moment you’re jumping off a pier and the next you’re in the water, or how you can be watching that one scene in Camp Rock (2008) where Shane Grey is singing ‘Gotta Find You,’ and then suddenly you have a rock in your pants.
At some point, you graduated from thinking someone was “cute” to thinking someone was “yummy”, or viewing Tiger Lily’s captivity as not only scary, but sexy. Now, don’t get it twisted, there are many kinds of sexual awakenings, and there’s absolutely no shame in admitting that seeing your friend’s dad shirtless for the first time is the reason you only date people who are at least five years older than you.
Sexual Awakening /ˈsɛkʃʊəl,ˈsɛksjʊəl/ /əˈweɪkənɪŋ/ Noun
1. The realisation that an act, a thing, or a person is now sexually arousing.
“Tarzan’s singular flap that left nothing to the imagination was my Sexual Awakening.”
More often than not, sexual awakenings can also activate a new found sexual fetish or interest. Take Edward Scissorhands — as messed up as it seems, he could have easily awoken a desire to be kissed passionately by a glorified hairdresser with beady eyes. In a day and age where people can marry themselves and fall in love with chandeliers, we have definitely passed the point of being embarrassed to admit that Bart Simpson was hot (still is), or that Shego from Kim Possible (2002) was the one to make you realise how much you really like girls. Maybe it was the spikey-haired lil’ cutie from Silver Sun (2004), or Julia Stiles dancing on the table in 10 Things I Hate About You (1999); whatever or whoever it was, you can thank it for your sex drive.
So, I believe congratulations are in order, you’ve finally figured out Shay Mitchell was the only reason why you stuck around for all seven seasons of Pretty Little Liars (2010). I always thought that Warren Peace from Sky High (2005) (you know the one — the fire-throwing, broody, misunderstood half villain, half hero bad boy of my dreams) was the most important and my only sexual awakening. Though in retrospect, I probably owe Kiera Knightley in Bend It Like Beckham (2002) that title. At the ripe and tender age of 10, I didn’t just watch that movie a thousand times because I idolised Jules for her impressive football skills, I probably watched it so many times because I had a big PHAT crush on her. My bisexual awakening was a rude one. It came bulldozing down my door, screaming. That isn’t the case for everyone though. Sometimes it happens without even noticing, and when you do realise, it’s because you’ve come to the conclusion that the reason why you’ve had so many unsuccessful relationships is because none of your exes have been able to sprinkle fairy dust over your head and make you fly — and this you owe to your first sexual awakening, Peter Pan (2003) (live or cartoon version, no one is judging you).
And if you haven’t had your sexual awakening yet, no need to stress. When your time eventually comes, you won’t need to worry that an oddly shaped chair summoned your sexual fantasies, because at least it wasn’t Adam Sandler.
5 Hotties That Were Probably Your Sexual Awakening
Taylor Lautner, The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl (2005)
Lola Bunny, Space Jam (1996)
Chad Michael Murray, A Cinderella Story (2004)
Aladdin, Aladdin (1992)