Deciphering our sexual hieroglyphics: emojis

In the second decade of the twenty-first century, homo sapiens came across a very peculiar way of communication.

Especially, when it came to exhibiting our sexual desires. No, we did not decide to fan out our feathers, nor did we compose a mating call. We turned to our smartphones and decided to send each other small pictures of eggplants.

Now, I would not consider myself well versed in this area of linguistics. However, if you are anything like me, you may find it useful to browse through this article as I describe to you the logistics, connotations and characteristics of our sexiest hieroglyphics.

The peach emoji

PrintThe problem that exists with peach, is that we aren’t always completely sure of what it may mean. Is the symbol referring to the front door or inferring some back of house action? Some things I guess we’ll never truly know.

The sweat/splash emoji

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When it comes to coitus, we cannot avoid the inevitable fluids that spurt out with it. The splash emoji can mean that you’re either in the mood for some love-making or you’ve just crossed the finish line. Regardless, using this emoji undoubtedly connotes sex…even if you’re not trying to.

The eggplant emoji

PrintFrankly speaking, it means dick. However, to say that this emoji does not have a history would be complete misinformation. Make no mistake, there was a war. The vicious battle between the banana and the eggplant began in early 2015. Of course, our dear eggplant came out victorious, as not only did it represent ethnic ambiguity, it was also clearly the larger, faster and harder warrior.

The tongue emoji 

PrintWe’ve all heard that our tongue is the strongest muscle in our entire bodies. That may not be scientifically accurate, however, it’s no myth that it has the ability to perform some of the greatest tricks of the trade. Whether it be mid-day or evening, there is never a wrong time to be down for some tongue action.

The open mouth emoji

PrintIf your mouth is open, something’s probably going inside it. As to what that may be, you take a guess.  

The wine emoji

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Perhaps for some, to wine and dine is as simple as a food date and post-date sex. However, for others, they prefer to dine in the wine. Period sex isn’t for everyone, but if you are into it, make sure you give that wine emoji a good tap.

Though this may have only been a brief introduction to the frivolous world of sex emojis, I encourage you to not be shy in using them. It may seem a bit tricky learning a whole new language, but you never know – with the right combination of the above you could be having some fun, sexy and orgasmic conversations in no time.

By Stephanie Zhong

IG: stephabibi

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