Words by: Jing Tan
Art by: Athina Nianiakos

a poem of love

Looking into his eyes,

But gazing into yours in my mind.

Watching his lips move,

But hearing your voice whispering in my ear.

Chocolate fading to chestnut,

Smile curling into familiar sweetness,

Eyes lighting up with a twinkle,

The image of you blurs into reality…

The hold of the gaze,

The unspoken words,

With the widening of the iris,

Diving into the depths of sage.

The softness of the lips,

The tenderness of the touch,

With the touch of impact,

Enveloped in the embrace.

---

That shiver of disgust scurries down my spine with the slightest intimate contact with another, while the intensity and urge to throw him off overwhelms. That repellent feeling arises again. Wishing that there were invisible rings of vibrational circles that radiate protective barrier energy to keep others away. Logically speaking, I’m single and free to mingle within the oceans and with its fishes, but my heart refuses. Stubborn like you, it holds a mind and intention of its own to stay loyal to you. If it were anyone else, this would have been easy, but I have never quite felt this with anyone else. Something inside just shuts down and cuts off all feelings; only restarting my rollercoaster of emotions when your name comes up. 

I unconsciously search for you in everyone I meet, comparing every feature to yours, although I know it’s wrong. Just as I think I have found a potential energy that draws me out, it is always that slight movement or choice of words that slams me back in. No one can replicate that burst of emotions with every touch, like a popping boba in the mouth that bursts with flavourful sweetness. The tingle with curiosity before you, replaced with the craving of comfort that is your soul. It is as if the other souls are jealous, putting up lures of ranging fireworks displays of dedicated effort instead of playing hide-and-seek behind the usual jar of honey-coated words. Yet… my soul sulks and turns its back. 

---

Varying touches never quite get it, 

Never that mix of soft with firmness. 

Ranging voices never quite soothing, 

Only frustrating and unnerving. 

A magnet of the soul,

With every step taken forward,

A force pulls me back,

Looking up to meet your eyes again.

Searching for your outline,

In the sea of figures,

Avoiding every brush of shoulders,

To find your safe embrace.

A forget-me-not with others,

A moonflower with you.

The only ocean I dive in,

The only touch I respond to.