Words by: Ashleigh Dowling
Art by: Evelyn Johnson 

With the recent release of the live-action Snow White movie, there has been a LOT of talk about what it means to be a strong, independent woman. Strong and independent is exactly how past Ashleigh would have described herself. 

I was the girl who never dated anyone in high school, instead throwing myself into academics, co-curricular activities and church. I was completely certain I didn’t need anyone else, other than God (more on that later). 

I am now five years out of school and four and a half years out of singleness. I’ve relied on my boyfriend (now fiancé, who I’ll refer to as M) more than I ever thought I would. 

It seems fitting that the first three times M and I hung out alone, I stepped out to cross a road without checking for traffic (maybe I was distracted or something?!), and M had to grab my arm to stop me from being crushed by a passing vehicle. He quite literally saved my life, which was pretty hot. 

Since then, I have needed less physical saving (thankfully becoming somewhat more aware of my surroundings), but I have found profound emotional freedom through my relationship with M. 

You know when someone asks whether you are okay and all the tears you’ve been holding in come streaming out?

My relationship has felt sort of like that. Feeling so safe that my inner emotions have been able to come to the surface. It has been a beautiful unravelling. 

Rather than reinforcing my weaknesses, this relationship has strengthened me. Through M’s support, I’ve become strong enough to face deeply rooted insecurities head-on, brave enough to admit I was wrong about certain things, and bold enough to make commitments to break generational cycles.  

It isn’t just past wounds I’ve needed healing from. New challenges, particularly over the last 18 months concerning my health, have led me to lean extra hard on M. I’ve let him advocate for me when I have felt too self-conscious to speak up, and through him, I’ve begun to learn that I can, and should, advocate for myself.  

Back to the God thing. For context, I am a Christian and part of our faith is accepting we’re not really strong and independent in the grand scheme of things. We need a God to save us from ourselves. Incidentally, some have drawn an analogy between the tale of Snow White and the Christian gospel, with the Prince representing heavenly salvation. 

For a while, being Christian made me feel like I had a moral duty to be independent of all Earthly needs. And while I do find my ultimate fulfilment in God, this does not mean I don’t crave intimacy with other humans. I believe God created humans to be in a community. So, from a Christian, and perhaps other spiritual, perspective, it is okay to desire relationships, both platonic and romantic ones.

Do not feel weak for wanting someone to come into your life and help you become a better version of yourself. Do not let the dialogue around Snow White make you feel guilty for wanting your Prince. 

I am forever grateful to have found mine and could not imagine my life without him. 

But as sympathetic as this piece is to the character and concept of Snow White’s Prince Charming, let it be known that I do not support that non-consensual kiss!