Words by Delilah Yu Art by Lily Li
My Parents’ Happy Valentine’s Day Sex
It was only made known to me in high school whilst my parents were drunk that I was most probably conceived on Valentine’s Day — a surprise that jolted my whole being.
It is not an easy thing for Chinese children to know where and when they were made, with the majority of the older generation still avoiding topics relating to sex. My parents made up odd stories to trick me as a child whenever I asked them where I came from; tall tales such as: I jumped out of a cleaved rock, fell out from my mum’s armpit, or I was found in a bin and picked up by them.
A few weeks ago, I asked my dad — a typical traditional Chinese man about the Valentine’s Day sex that he had with my mom 23 years ago. His face distorted and warped as I finished my sentence. I felt at any moment he might explode and kick me out of his office. But to my surprise, he stayed calm and told me, “It is nonsense. We never celebrated Valentine’s Day as it originates from the West and is not an Eastern tradition.”
But I wasn’t satisfied, I wanted to find out more. So I turned to my mum. She told me that her and my father had never had sex prior to getting married. They never had any form of sexual education either when they were in school, so they had to find other ways to “educate” themselves after marriage; watching porn VHS tapes played on our family VCR. They were still amateurs in the act of sex when the first Valentine’s Day came to them so of course, they didn’t use any form of protection like condoms. She revealed to me that sex was seen more as a pragmatic tool in her age but even then, she didn’t expect my grand entrance into their lives to be so early. She started her parenthood when she was only 22.
Valentine’s Day and Sex in China
The traditions of Westerners have become very popu- lar among the Chinese since the enactment of open borders in the last century. Celebrating Valentine’s Day is not only big for couples in China, but also it also presents a large commercial opportunity for the retail and hospitality industries. However, Valentine’s Day can mean different things to different people in China — some girls use Valentine Day to test the loyalty of their partners based off of the value of gifts presented.
When talking about Valentine’s Day, sex is always an excellent way to end the occasion. Are there any differ- ences in sexual preference between the people in China and in Western countries?
“We choose our best sex positions based on our Chinese Zodiac” — Chinese Kama Sutra.
However, based on a survey run by Sun Yat-Sen University, masturbation is the most popular sexual act among people worldwide. The survey also showed that only 26.1% of people had any passionate desire for sexual foreplay, and only 33% of women are willing to accept or give oral sex. Men were more active than women in the leading position and more dominant in sexual intercourse.
Nowadays, there is an increasingly positive attitude towards sex in China by the younger generation. Casual sexual encounters are becoming more common and acceptable amongst both men and women. However, due to poor sexual education, there are many “happy surprises” from these casual encounters every year.
My 2020 Valentine’s Day Sex
Most of us in China wished that the beginning of 2020 could be free of any trials but obviously, the devastating Coronavirus situation had a different plan for us. I was trapped in China and thousands of miles away from my boyfriend who lives in Australia on the all-important V-Day. But we didn’t let this get us down — we ended this special day together with phone sex (so don’t worry, no happy surprises in nine months here)!