Selfcare Astrology

Words by Ruby Ellam
Art by Kadee Fang

Astrology and self-care are the interchangeable top priorities of millennial, middle-class women today. As one of those new-age witches of Instagram and a rampant Aries, I’m here to let you know how the stars want you to relax and how to pamper yourself at your nearest convenience. And before any guys with tiny beanies and poorly maintained beards call me out because it’s “not real”, I’ve faked all my orgasms and you never seemed to notice. So be a friend and swallow a little bullshit for my enjoyment. 

Selfcare Astrology