Words by: Binari Almeida Art by: Jessica La
Dear younger self,
Sex was such a mysterious and confusing concept to you back then. You felt like you knew what you were doing but looking back you had no idea at all.
There are so many things I wish I could have told you back then. So many things that would have gone differently if you had known a few important things beforehand. Now that I’m older, let me tell you what I wish I had known about sex when I was your age.
Firstly, don’t rush. There is no need to rush sex. Everyone should go at their own pace especially when it comes to developing their sexuality. You are not behind everyone else if you choose to take your time. If anything, taking your time just means you get to make the most of your sexual experiences.
Secondly, peer pressure is more serious than you ever realised. The people around you had such a huge impact on how you went about your sexual development. Back then you did things to appease others, your partner and society. Now you know you should only participate in sex because you want to and not because you feel that you have to. You will know when the time is right, so listen to yourself instead of others.
Thirdly, the books and movies lied. They lied so much. Sex is nothing like how it’s described in the books, movies or even how others have described it to you. Society only tells you about the pretty parts of sex, not the ugly parts. Many times, sex is uncomfortable and awkward, especially the first few times. Having good and enjoyable sex isn’t always something that happens naturally or magically. It depends on so many different factors.
And finally, take your sexual pleasure into your own hands! Take ownership of your sexuality. Don’t expect someone else to make you feel good, because more often than not they won’t be able to. Understanding your own body and being able to guarantee your own sexual pleasure is the most important thing you can do for yourself.
Love, your older self.