I’ll Have The Sad Girl Special Please

Words by: Stephanie Booth
Art by: Duyen My Lee (Amee)

One of my most memorable meals was a cricket taco from a restaurant in New York. While I didn’t like the fact that the server received most of the tip, while the cook and dishwashers got less, I did love the taco. Crispy, flavoursome and exciting. It’s the only time I’ve liked cricket.

I used to host dinner parties — good ones.

I’m talking fairy floss and pomegranate champagne on arrival, with a quail egg and pancetta mini quiche to start. I would spend the day rushing about to find these bonkers ingredients to make my guests feel special, bringing us all together over a shared love of well-paired wines and homemade hors d’œuvres.

Things look very different in lockdown from a culinary perspective, so here’s what a dinner party might look like at the moment. 

Amuse-bouche:

We start with a mandarin, eaten in bed. You’ll notice the perfume of the citrus mist, released by the breaking of the shell (skin, if you will). Each segment is a journey of its own. Not today scurvy!

Entree: 

Once dressed (the dress code is less ‘black tie’ and more ‘lack of try’) we settle in for an entree of Greek yoghurt with honey. Your guests might enjoy the novelty of this being served in a drinking glass…because you’ve run out of bowls. 

Main: 

The German word uber can be used to convey the words ‘over’ or ‘above’ and the like. But at dinnertime in quarantine, Uber means only one thing, and I think we all know where I’m going here (well… I hope my driver knows where they are going). 

Dessert: 

Responsible fishing practices are crucial in order to preserve our oceanic friends and due diligence must be taken when purchasing seafood of any kind. After careful consideration, there’s truly nothing like a can of tuna, eaten while staring wistfully out the door at the world you’re not allowed to enter. 

Bon appetit. 

Stay safe and be smart everyone. 

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