Words by: Joy Fan (she/her)

the vans: 

the ‘skate’ shoe

you have worn me thin 

in your failed attempts at landing another trick

you beat me to the ground, over and over again –

never enough. 

kickflip? no. shuvit? no. rock to fakie? no. 

and yet …

this is not why you started 

you picked up a skateboard to learn how to fall. 

to meet new people. 

to change how you move through this world.

how do you measure success?

by tricks acquired, or by friends made? 

by obstacles conquered, or by lessons learned?

just because you failed, doesn’t mean there was nothing gained.

the converse: 

the ‘everyday’ shoe

the wear and tear of daily life are rhythms worn into the very fabric of my being, 

your gait etches itself into my soles. 

without you noticing, 

without you even realising. 

when was the last time you looked at the bottom of your feet?

when was the last time you looked at the bottom of your heart – peered into the dark abyss, made eye contact with the distorted reflection staring back at you?

what patterns are you absent-mindedly carrying around with you – into new places, new relationships, new jobs?

when push comes to shove, what direction will you lean? 

the sketchers: 

the ‘hiking’ shoe

I feel your face fall – the shift in dynamic, when I announce my presence – SKETCHERS, in sharp contrast to the Salomon that you thought my S stood for. 

I see the wrinkle in your nose, like something acrid and sour has crept into your nostrils. 

I see the confusion in your eyes – what do you mean these shoes aren’t the Fitzroy-brunswick-matcha-patchwork-tattoo-bike-friendly-carabiner-core that you thought they were?? Instead, they’re associated with Aunt Joan, who swears by dried prunes and compression leggings.

Needless to say, I don’t live by your rules. I don’t dictate my life according to your preconceived notions of ’coolness’.

I am enough the way I am, from my round laces to my soft memory foam lining. 

I have carried feet across mountains, fields, and on strolls through family farms.

I exist beyond your narrow-minded preconceptions of form and function, and nothing you say or do can change that.

Now, while you excuse me, I’m going to go on another hike.