Words by: Zoe De Paola
Art by: Liliana Bettiol

A better version of ourselves — it’s something many of us strive for. I’d say it’s human nature to want to better ourselves.

As the eldest daughter, I relate to this aspiration intensely. Growing up, I wanted to be involved in everything. To me, the highway to personal improvement was about loading my plate up with as many different experiences as possible and squeezing them all into my Google Calendar.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m grateful for many of my life experiences. However, there’s no denying that sometimes we take on too much — cue growth burnout.

So, how does one approach personal growth, and when does it become too much? Reflecting on my own experiences, here’s my advice on recovering from growth burnout and consequently mending your relationship with personal growth.

Step 1.

There’s no denying growth burnout when you start experiencing that anxious gut feeling. Maybe it’s because you’re exhausted by setbacks from reaching your personal goals or because you’ve spread yourself too thin. Personally, I can admit to taking on too much, to the point that it makes my usual fun activities less, well, fun. Despite these feelings of negativity, reflecting on your situation and realising that you’re overwhelmed is an important and key initial step.

Step 2.

Next, I find it helpful to reflect on how much I’m expecting of myself, both in terms of goals and commitments. There are different ways to approach this; however, I like to review all the individual elements of my schedule and understand how much time each takes up during my average week. For example, how much time am I spending volunteering? How much time do I want to spend at the gym? How much time will I be spending completing assignments to achieve the grades I want? And so on.

Step 3.

Then, it’s important to dissect why I’m committed to each of these activities and goals. Some things may be more of an obligation, like university and work (ugh). However, for anything else, it’s easy to get caught up in wanting personal growth simply for the sake of achievement or improving your resume, etc., etc. Yes, there’s no doubt that things like resume building are good, but your time and commitments are much more worthwhile when they are personally meaningful. I’ll ask myself, ‘Does this align with my purpose and passions, and if so, how?’

Step 4. 

With this in mind, it’s time to create a game plan to ease your personal load. Maybe it’s asking for help and reducing a portion of your responsibilities, or prioritising your commitments to understand what you could take off your plate. When doing this, I like to remind myself that there is no rush! If you take something off your plate, it doesn’t have to stay that way forever. We have the rest of our lives to grow, including beyond our time as students.

Step 5.  

Finally, it’s important to maintain balance in the future. You might get tapped on the shoulder or come across exciting opportunities, but if you don’t have the time to fully commit, then you’ll likely have a reduced potential to grow from it anyway. The art of learning to say ‘no’ can be difficult; however, immensely helpful to maintain your own balance. 

I think it’s important to mention that personal growth should be exciting. When a commitment no longer gives you that spark, it could be a sign to reconsider. Personal growth should encourage you to grow in ways that are personally important to you and, hopefully, teach you skills that help you better fulfil your inner purpose. By integrating balance and prioritising your passions, you can hopefully say farewell to growth burnout and, for those like me, say farewell to those pesky eldest-daughter tendencies.