Words by: Taylor Penny 
Art by: Mellyn Sun 

Three years ago, my New Year’s resolution was to stop being a people pleaser. I decided that I wasn’t going to allow others to invalidate my feelings or let their wants get in the way of my own. But I did, and 2022 turned into 23, 24, and now 2025.

This year, however, is different.

This year, we are bringing in The Let Them Theory and removing those who push us down.

It’s impossible to make everyone happy. In some ways, there will always be someone you can’t please. Trying to control what we cannot only drains us. 

Removing people-pleasing habits may not be as easy to grow out of as some of the ‘Ins and Outs’ shown on TikTok, yet it is well worth it. With help from The Let Them Theory, my mental health thrived and consequently so did I.

The theory explains that as we grow into adulthood, the emotions of others are not our responsibility. We can’t control them, nor can we change them. So, we must let them show us who they are. 

In my experience, I had a friend who was practically treating me like an enemy. They truly disrupted my mental health and essentially made me feel unworthy. Using the theory, I let them show me who they were by simply allowing them to be themselves. Then allowed myself to create a distance between us without feeling guilty. 

Whilst this experience was essential for my mental wellbeing, it showed me just how much change can hurt when it means losing someone we’ve clung to.  

Growth is an important part of our lives. It brings change and allows for our future and relationships to flourish. Yet sometimes, personal growth feels devastating, especially when we see those who once valued us grow in a different direction.

The thought of growing apart used to shatter me. It pushed me to cling to those who didn’t care as much as I thought they did. That was until I found this quote by Mel Gibson.

“Growth is painful. Change is painful. But nothing is as painful as staying stuck somewhere that you don’t belong”.

I understand how tricky change can be, but I also know the pain of realising you stayed too long in a place, person or situation you don’t belong in anymore. The Let Them theory helped me find the strength I needed to grow to better places. 

In 2025, let us bring IN peace and allow others to take OUT their emotions somewhere else.