A How To… By Me For Me

Words by: Rachelle Sitompul 
Art by: Rachelle Sitompul

I walked to the pick-up booth and happily grabbed my coffee. Walking back to my seat, I savoured the bitterness I cradled. Yet sitting across from me, I saw myself.

My younger soul sipped her hot chocolate, offering a small smile despite the hollowness that lay behind her eyes.

“What are you feeling?” I asked.

She hesitated, fingers wrapped around the warmth of her cup. 

“Lost, I think. Like I should have everything figured out by now, but I don’t.”

I smiled because, as you can imagine, I understood more than anyone could. I took a deep breath, set my coffee down, and slid my journal across the table to her. “Read this,” I said. “It’s everything I wish you knew.”

1. Feeling Lost Doesn’t Mean You’re Going Nowhere

    You keep waiting for a big sign, something to reaffirm that you’re walking the right path. But sometimes, the path isn’t clear until you’ve walked it. Everyone else is as lost as you are — we’re all just guessing, adjusting, and figuring things out as we go. Stop beating yourself up for not knowing all the answers yet. Keep moving. 

    You’re not as lost as you think you are.

    2. Exhaustion Isn’t a Status Symbol

      Please, for me and yourself, take a break. I know you’ve convinced yourself that being tired means you’re doing something right, like it’s a badge of honour. Running on empty doesn’t make you strong, it makes you fragile. Stop ignoring your body when it’s begging you to slow down. 

      You don’t have to collapse to prove that you worked hard enough.

      3. You Are Not a Problem to Solve

        You keep waiting for a moment when you’ll be fixed, when you’ll finally feel like you’ve figured it out and deserve some kindness. But you’re not broken, you don’t need fixing. Growth isn’t about becoming something better; it’s about becoming more you. 

        You are already worth loving, as you are, right now.

        I watched as she read each line, absorbing the words like she’d been waiting to hear them. She looked up at me, eyes softer, a little lighter.

        “Do I turn out okay?” she asked.

        I smiled, lifting my iced latte, “Better than okay.”

        She let out a breath she didn’t realise she was holding and took another sip of her hot chocolate.

        For the first time, she looked like she might believe me.

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