Words by: Indira Dyza Kirana
Art by: Sama Harris

Tania is a Monash University graduate who recently returned to her home country of Indonesia after studying for the last two years in Melbourne.

Back home, she has been navigating the challenges and surprises that come with transitioning from the laid-back, multicultural vibe of Melbourne to the bustling streets of Jakarta. Tania opens up about the highs and lows of reverse culture shock, re-establishing social connections and finding herself again after living abroad. 

When you first landed back in Jakarta, did you expect to feel right at home? Or were there moments where you felt like you didn’t quite ‘fit’ anymore?

Honestly, I thought adapting back to life in Jakarta would be a breeze. I mean, I lived here for 18 years before moving to Melbourne. But, boy, was I wrong. The reverse culture shock hit me hard. I never expected to struggle with something as simple as addressing people. In Melbourne, I just called everyone ‘you’ or ‘mate’. But back in Indonesia, I found it challenging to revert to ‘sir’ or ‘miss’. It was a formality I had forgotten about, and it took some time to get used to again. It was as if everything I once knew so well had become foreign to me.

How did you cope with the emotional challenges of returning home after being abroad for so long?

The first two weeks were definitely the toughest. Even though I was surrounded by familiar faces, I felt incredibly alone. It was like I didn’t quite belong here anymore, like I was out of sync with everyone around me. It was just me, myself, and my thoughts. I eventually snapped out of it by focusing on activities that kept me busy, like working out. It’s funny how distractions can sometimes help you find yourself again.

Was it difficult to re-establish connections with old friends in Indonesia after being away, or did distance bring you closer together?

Reconnecting wasn’t as easy as I’d hoped. I thought we’d just pick up where we left off, but we’d all changed. It took some effort – I planned meet-ups and really listened to what my friends had been through while I was away, sharing my own stories too. Slowly, those moments and conversations brought us back together, and I started feeling at home again. The time apart made me appreciate our friendships even more. I realised how much I missed the little things – inside jokes, shared memories and that comfort of knowing someone truly gets you. The distance made our bond even stronger once we reunited.

How do you think living in Melbourne influenced your identity and perspective now that you’re back in Indonesia?

Living in Melbourne was truly transformative. The city’s diverse culture and the open-mindedness of Melburnians taught me who I am. I loved how people there expressed themselves – whether through fashion, art, or just the way they spoke their minds. For example, I observed that in Melbourne, people could experiment with bold and eclectic fashion choices without inhibitions. But back in Jakarta, the vibe is different. People can be more conservative about what’s acceptable, and wearing something unconventional can quickly attract judgement.

Public spaces in Jakarta don’t always celebrate the arts like Melbourne does, so creativity can feel a bit stifled. Despite these challenges, I’ve learned to navigate these different environments, finding ways to express myself within the boundaries of social norms while still holding onto the confidence and creativity I gained abroad.

If you could relive one experience from your time as an international student, what would it be, and why?

If I could relive one experience, it would be working part-time in Melbourne. In Indonesia, it’s tough for students to gain work experience. Most opportunities are out of reach without a degree, and the pay isn’t exactly motivating. But in Melbourne, I had the chance to work, earn a fair wage, and gain practical skills that I couldn’t have gotten back home.

The best part was the independence it gave me. Managing my own finances, balancing work and study, and meeting people from all over the world were eye-opening experiences. It wasn’t just about the job; it was about learning how to adapt to different environments and proving to myself that I could handle whatever came my way. If I could do it all over again, I would in a heartbeat.