Words by: Shabnam Sidhu
Art by: Chloe Tomaras

I only want one thing. 

Everything. 

Less is a bore. So, I have curated my personal aesthetic to be anything but. I tried dressing in ways that made me look like I fit in, but gosh, did it feel suffocating. I looked like Marie Kondo’s wet dream. 

I hated it. 

Minimalism is just… not my vibe. I have accepted that I cannot embrace the Sofia Richie aesthetic. What I can embrace though, is to be a witch with magical powers surrounded by my worldly possessions. My hypnotising eyes, blue mascara, red lips, chunky moonstone rings and my tiered black dress evoke an aura of magnetism everywhere I go. 

Picture this: a green velvet rug, a magenta bubble couch, a wall adorned with appropriation art, a never-ending stack of feminist rage literature and one of those orange doughnut lamps from IKEA. My future space will be an interactive museum bejewelled with bits and bobs of my identity. 

I want to give people the chance to take a glimpse into the inner workings of my brain. I want them to step into my world and think it’s quite whimsical. Perhaps a little bit unhinged — but in the most vibrant way possible. 

More is more. And it is not just a physical expression for me. I live passionately and romanticise even the most mundane moments of my existence. 

Don’t believe me? Just look at my notes app. 

My thoughts are exuberant. 

I feel everything so intensely. I will not shy away from saying exactly what is on my mind. I will ask you what your horoscope is and pull out a deck of tarot cards to do a reading. I will wear my prettiest dress on a grocery run and hope that one day, I’ll meet the love of my life whilst reaching for the same orange. 

I’ve given up trying to be conventionally attractive and desirable. I refuse to conform to the status quo. I am so deeply vivacious that I cannot bear the thought of being less than. 

My Indian heritage has made it practically impossible for me to not be over the top. Extravagance is our middle name. It would be a shame for me to not live as boldly and colourfully as the protagonists of my favourite Bollywood films. I adorn my hands with intricate henna designs, wear jhumkas and bindis with every outfit I put together. The eccentric blend of modern and traditional features of my identity is what makes me beautiful. 

I want to be the girl who lives boldly and is proud of who she has become. I want my personal aesthetic to tell a story. I want to illuminate every corner of the world with my unbridled maximalist energy. 

Oh wait, I am that girl.