Words by: Erin Constable
Art by:  Jennifer Hoang

If I have to see the Jungle Giants at one more Aussie Festival I am going to lose it.

After COVID, my friends and I rushed at any chance to secure a festival ticket, including to the infamous Splendour in the Mud. I’m talking Grapevine, Beyond The Valley (that year it was in the CBD), Ultra, FOMO, Laneway, Groovin The Moo and so many more.

You would catch us staying in the mosh for hours to not lose our prime location, with one brave water-boy blessing us with H20. You’d catch me only dancing with my arms ‘cause of how jam-packed the crowds were. Not to mention the cesspools of mixed sweat and sunscreen that manifest in this environment.

I am no longer rushing to get these tickets. Let’s pinpoint why:

1. Splendor in the Mud 2022

A cancelled day one, 15-hour waits to get to the campsite, muddy tents, wet socks, more wait times (this time for a bus home) and a Meningococcal outbreak. The recent Burning Man fiasco triggered memories of those three days when anything I dropped was lost to an endless mud pile forever. So then, how was Splendour ‘23? I heard ticket sales were down after the most talked about festival of 2022.

2. The Jungle Giant Effect

The lingering effects of COVID-19. Following the pandemic, we craved live music and Aussie musicians filled that void whilst our borders were still closed. Notably, the Jungle Giants. Seeing them live the first time was cool. Seeing the same set at the fifth festival in a row and wondering if you will ever escape the opening funk of ‘Heavy Hearted’ is less cool. Even worse when you are covered in mud.

3. The Lost Headliners

Looking into our festival lineup future, we have nothing breathtaking to look forward to. Major artists like Taylor Swift, The Weeknd and Beyoncé all are in the midst of whirlwind global tours. There is no time to stop by BTV on NYE. Maybe the Aussie classics need an international superstar (I wouldn’t recommend Lizzo at this time) to drive ticket sales.

So, what’s Australia’s saving grace? Techno.

Not all hope is lost in Australian live music — although admittedly live music without the instruments.

The Melbourne techno scene is the only remaining blood flow to the heart of Australian festivals. This year’s Boiler Room tickets sold out almost instantly. My whole feed was unfortunate people (not me) scrambling on Melbourne Gal Pals and Insta stories to score any unwanted tickets. I don’t even want to look at the Tixel resale value because it might tempt me to sell mine in this economy.

But these tickets are going for a premium not just for the Boiler Room music and reputation, but for the techno culture that’s been cultivated. It’s the fashion (picture the bleach flower hats, white singlet and jorts), the TikTok hype and the fact that every university sharehouse has its own DJ decks.

For me though, it’s the people. My recent favourite festivals have been in smaller venues with the most intimate crowds. At Paradigm Festival and Piknic Electronik, you had enough space to dance freely. Good drops were felt by the whole crowd moving as one, but this time we could dance individually. You can pass people without pushing, go pee when you need to, and not have to fight tooth and nail to meet back up with your friends.

During this cost of living crisis, these are the festivals I will sacrifice my humble dollar for.

Note: Upon reflection, I may just be getting older, or I may just need a new Jungle Giants album before standing through another set.